A spark does not guarantee love any more than a sunny day means the lake water will be warm and the swimming will be great. If it does happen, it will be mostly a coincidence.Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick!The problem here is this belief in the all empowering spark – it's the fairy tale that we all believe we need to have in order for a relationship to turn into love.
From what I am reading in your blog, I’m supposed to be happy with this guy. But I feel like I should look forward to seeing him more. Like the idea of him is better than the actual person. I should point out that I’m young (25) and attractive.I have read through over 40 pages of archives from your blog, and I can’t find the answer to this one. He really likes me a lot and has been clear about that. –TJ Dear TJ, Thanks for the important question, and for giving me a platform to clear up some misconceptions about what I teach.And he is great: cute, smart, successful, shares my religion and interests, we both value family a lot, and he is treating me like gold. For those of you who are new to this blog, one of my pet topics is the concept that chemistry is all too often an illusion.Of course, it’s still a wonderful feeling, but life experience and science have taught us a few things about chemistry. Usually, chemistry lasts from 1 ½ to 3 years before it wears off. At this point, many women become disillusioned with their partners, even though all it means is that you’re finally seeing him clearly. When you’re under the influence of chemistry, you are under the influence of hormones that act like drugs.Can’t eat, can’t sleep, high highs, low lows, the feeling of obsessive longing…it’s all quite unhealthy.It can be purely sexual, or it can be a deeper feeling that someone understands you.Either way, it leads to something very real happening in your brain, Mc Nulty says: a gradual cascade of neurotransmitters that are released as a person falls in love.Some forums can only be seen by registered members.After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads. I had to read it again, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. It was such a reminder of what settling really is and isn't.So we politely decline when he tries for date number three (sometimes even date number two).