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Like most partners, she initially didn’t buy into the concept of sex addiction (“it sounded like a pretty weak excuse for an affair”) and even when she did start to believe that her husband’s behaviour was compulsive, her friends didn’t (“they’d look at me in despair, asking since when had sexual desire became a monster that can’t be controlled”), leaving her feeling isolated.

To be fair on Rachel’s friends, there is some debate about whether the term sex addiction is scientifically accurate, but the field of addiction is changing fast and emphasis is shifting from the substance to the psychological symptoms of addiction.

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Most people are somewhere in the middle on the introversion-extroversion dimension but everyone has moments of greatness and everyone has moments of utter failure when the pressure is on to be scintillating.

“Sex addiction feels extremely personal when you’re the partner because it affects the most intimate part of your relationship in a way that, say, alcohol or drugs just don’t,” she explains.

“I could have dealt with a gambling addiction or alcoholism – anything but this,” Rachel confirms.

I've found that perhaps the most useful guide for small talk sphere comes from the person-centered approach to therapy of Carl Rogers.

In the 1970s, Rogers made tremendous contributions to counseling and clinical psychology by teaching therapists how best to listen, reflect the feelings of their clients, and turn these reflections into change-promoting insights.

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